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Post by Miguel on Nov 14, 2007 21:44:55 GMT 2
Chuck Norris actually doesn't really move. He just wills the world around him and makes it look like he's walking. But the pain and wounds from his beatings are real, make no mistake.
What do you get when you cross so much strength it rivals God's powers, a beard, and the roundhouse kick? As far away as possible, 'cause Chuck Norris was just cloned.
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Post by viruszero on Nov 14, 2007 22:20:44 GMT 2
If Chuck Norris were cloned... The resulting meeting of 2 Chuck Norris' would make matter and antimatter fusion look like a pack of poprocks.
One piece of hair off Chuck Norris can fully cure male pattern baldness, one piece of Chuck Norris' beard will bequeath anyone with a beard almost as awesome as Chuck's.
He was approached by Rogaine to market this, but Chuck Norris doesn't get his hair cut. He only wills it shorter and it is. Resultingly he round housed the representatives of rogaine off the planet. Rogaine has not attempted to contact him again.
Chuck Norris was driving once and he was pulled over, the officer who pulled him over said, "Where's the fire sir?."
Chuck Norris simply leaned out the window and breathed fire over the asphalt, melting the tar and the officer. Since then, no police officer has pulled Chuck Norris over ever again.
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Post by Albireo on Nov 15, 2007 7:23:55 GMT 2
Making 2 Chuck Norris would have so much godly power for the world to handle, that making 2 Chuck Norris' would destroy this whole entire planet, but the 2 Chuck Norris' would make 1 for each of them.
Chuck Norris is better than god, why? cos you can NEVER EVER sin.
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Post by Miguel on Nov 17, 2007 1:02:39 GMT 2
Chuck Norris is so powerful, he can kill a rock.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, more then one of him in existance would end this and many neighbouring universes.
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Post by Albireo on Nov 17, 2007 1:07:51 GMT 2
Chuck Norris, when he was a baby, was capable of toppling 3 worlds in one GAGA!, when he was a adolescent, was capable of moving a galaxy with his skateboard, when he became a teenager, he had the ability to attract women at a rate that is so godly, that god himself was jealous, at early adulthood, he learned how to control time, then now, he became beyond a god.
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Post by Miguel on Nov 17, 2007 14:21:51 GMT 2
I think this one might've been posted before, but what the hell.
When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd.
Chuck Norris can tell your name and exactly how long you have left to live just by glancing at you. Because he's the one who decided those things.
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Post by Albireo on Nov 17, 2007 15:27:19 GMT 2
I know the 1st one has... not sure bout the 2nd...
Chuck Norris was never known until he was born, but he created all those things before, including time and god, why didnt he come out till now? its cos he'll get to show his skills alot better in this time.
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Post by Miguel on Nov 17, 2007 21:58:42 GMT 2
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.
It is not possible for Chuck Norris to have a father. The most popular theroy is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Chuck Norris can round-house kick you so hard, it alters your DNA, and thousands of years from now your descendants go "What the hell was that?".
Chuck Norris pisses magma, exhales air (instead of carbon dioxide), and breathes fire (in addition to air).
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he punched it so hard it ran off at the speed of light, went all the way back to the beggining of time and founded the universe. It is known today as "God".
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Post by Zsaberslash on Nov 17, 2007 23:09:42 GMT 2
Chuck Noriss created God and told him to create stuff. He also told him to make all people to have a part of his personality in themselves.
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Post by Miguel on Nov 27, 2007 0:54:19 GMT 2
Chuck Norris has never found Waldo, but vows to kick his  when he does For making him search so long. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday. Chuck Norris finds it amusing to liquefy squirrels in a blender. Researchers recently discovered the original draft of the Declaration of Independence. It said "Dear King George – F**k you, we're leaving. Signed, Chuck Norris." Chuck Norris likes to dress up in a "Barney" suit and visit the local kintergardens. When the happy little children ask Chuck to sing a song he roundhouse kicks the sh*t out of them, removes his mask, and says, "I'm not a jukebox, you little f**ker." Chuck Norris went on a drug trip with Raffi, which resulted in the lyrics for the song "Banana Phone". For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For Chuck Norris, there is Richard Simmons. Chuck Norris doesn't have to do sh*t for a Klondike bar. |
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