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Post by Albireo on Oct 14, 2007 5:02:23 GMT 2
When Chuck Norris went to the bar, he drank and got drunk, he went out to drive home, and on the way, he drove through a forest, how did the car not get damaged? the trees moved outta the way, and then moved back after he got through
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Post by Miguel on Oct 14, 2007 18:53:35 GMT 2
Chuck Norris can fire off a shot gun at your leg, beat the bullet to your leg, kick you in the genetalia, and still get back to the gun before it even starts to fall.
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Post by Albireo on Oct 15, 2007 10:57:32 GMT 2
Chuck Norris shot out a bullet out of a gun once, he decided to race it across a desert, but when he got to the end of it, he camped for 3 days and 3 nights with exotic girls and wake up on the 3rd to find the bullet stuck in a dead chick, whom was extremely lively just last night, but chuck norris with roundhouse kicking power brang the girl back to life
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Post by Silver Stryker on Oct 15, 2007 22:44:38 GMT 2
-Chuck norris IS the hulk... -why is chuck norris so powerful, you ask? his gandpa's black  - When the majora's mask is worn, the moon falls. it isn't the four gaurdians stopping it, but ramnants from chuck norris' toilet. -1000 years ago, the legendary super saiyan was born..sheesh, just because Chuck Norris finds out his show got cancelled, doesn't mean people should make legends about him!!! |
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Post by Albireo on Oct 16, 2007 16:58:39 GMT 2
Chuck Norris has a gun, he shoots to the sky, but out of pure fear, the bullets fly towards the targets, people are watching and are like HOLY CRAPS!
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Post by Miguel on Oct 16, 2007 21:57:54 GMT 2
Megatron used to be Chuck Norris' first handgun, but when he threw it out, he spat on it.
Chuck Norris sired his own father, himself, and his great great great gandson who hasn't been born yet by pure thought alone.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Superman is actually Chuck Norris. He just lets Clark Kent pretend that he's Superman's secret identity.
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Post by Silver Stryker on Oct 17, 2007 3:07:33 GMT 2
-You see, Chuck Norris is actually a pathetic man..sure he's great, but did you know that Superman, Goku, and Yusuke Urimeshi are his grandchildren?.....'tis the result of C.N sleepin around....tch, tch, tch...
-There is one thing Chuck Norris fears....its his his stomach. His stomach will deal a serious roundhouse kick if its day doesn't come with a three-square meal consisted up of Ho-hos....sad, indeed...
(still haven't used a real fact, lol)
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Post by Darc Abyss on Oct 17, 2007 5:00:22 GMT 2
Chuck Norris is a man. There's a real fact.
Chuck Norris fought the law, and the law run.
Chuck Norris goes, "YOU!!! I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR!" And when you get there, all the guys turn straight.
Chuck Norris's beard is not full of old food. Just saber tooth tigers that are fed on the old food.
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Post by Albireo on Oct 17, 2007 9:03:04 GMT 2
Lol, the 2nd last one was best...
When God created chuck norris, he just died, since chuck norris created god, and a creation cant create its creator
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Post by Gilgamesh on Oct 17, 2007 13:50:25 GMT 2
When asked whether to take the red pill or the blue pill, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the guy asking and took both of the pills, effectively making another universe-shattering paradox made by Chuck Norris.
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Post by Albireo on Oct 18, 2007 12:34:11 GMT 2
At the end of Halo 1, it wasnt Masterchief who blew up halo, since the Pillar of Autumn didnt explode enough, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked from earth, the kick's shockwave hit halo, thus destroying halo.
It wasnt Zero who killed weil, it was Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick's shockwave that hit the Ragnorock station.
Chuck Norris knows no fear, chuck norris knows no anger, chuck norris just knows a good time
When chuck norris demands 1 beer, they give him 10 beers, out of fear of getting roundhouse kicked if they drop 1 beer
Chuck Norris beat god at his own game... life, the 1 and only rule was "never gain godly powers".
When they asked, OMG WHO KILLED KENNY?!, Chuck would just give a cool pose and say, "banana....".
Remember in FF7, there was a meteor? it wasnt Cloud and his friends who saved them, it was Chuck Norris, he roundhouse kicked randomly, and coincidently hit the meteor.
God fought Chuck Norris, but God cheated and brang his friend Zeus, Chuck Norris wasnt at all surprised, instead he put foot marks all over Zeus and God, they concede defeat.
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Post by Miguel on Nov 12, 2007 17:01:30 GMT 2
The new Mountain Dew commercial featuring Chuck Norris was based on a real event. Some kid made a punch buddy with Chuck Norris' face on it, made a video of himself kicking it, and posted it on Youtube. When Chuck Norris found out, he hunted the kid down and punched the kid so hard the kid turned into a punch buddy, and Chuck Norris then proceeded to pummel the crap out of it.
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Post by Deathtanz Mantisk on Nov 12, 2007 22:45:46 GMT 2
The new Mountain Dew commercial featuring Chuck Norris was based on a real event. Some kid made a punch buddy with Chuck Norris' face on it, made a video of himself kicking it, and posted it on Youtube. When Chuck Norris found out, he hunted the kid down and punched the kid so hard the kid turned into a punch buddy, and Chuck Norris then proceeded to pummel the crap out of it. Would've been funnier if the punch buddy would've kicked the kid's  simply due to being fueled by the said face of mr Norris. ...I feel filthy. |
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Post by ManiacalReploid on Nov 12, 2007 23:08:02 GMT 2
Lol..... all i gotta say..... I said NOT to post in this thread unless you were posting a Chuck Norris fact. Chuck Norris craeated Zero by imagining what it would be like if he and Sephiroth had a baby. I don't recall you being a mod so unless you are, keep your mouth shut. Don't act as if you have the power to keep people from posting here becuase you don't. Chuck Norris is so strong that if he said the earth no longer existed, it wouldn't. |
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Post by Albireo on Nov 13, 2007 9:12:49 GMT 2
Chuck Norris is so powerful, that with the flick of his finger, it sent galaxies flying.
Chuck Norris was so invincible, that he walked straight into the sun, and out naked, and then people decided to call him god,since he came from the heavens.
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